Pissed off, bitter girl!

So it happens with us once in a while that we feel lost, helpless and bound by all our mistakes and bad decisions. Its ironic to call ones mistakes bad decisions because I've come to believe that we actually have a mechanism inside us that keeps giving these warning signals all the time that something's not meant to be..

The question is that why do we choose to ignore these signals, why do we ignore our instincts, why do we put ourselves through the misery and then cry most of our life about it later?

We make or break ourselves and yes, we make bad decisions all the time. Its just that some have a huge affect on us than the other... e.g Opting out of taking admission into a college maybe acceptable but marrying a person who you felt deep inside was wrong for you, marrying someone without thinking to realise in no time he's a psycho is so wrong at so many levels.

Yes I wish I had not made the mistakes I did but I am human.. I don't have a time machine to clean up my mess but I'm sure you out there also don't have it..

The hardest thing for me is that I can't come to forgive myself for putting me through this. Knowing yet ignoring the signals is something I can't even ask God why me.. God obviously gave me all the warning signals for me to stay away from trouble..so my why me is aimed at me only.

Why did not ignore these signals? I thought of myself as an someone who had things figured.. I definitely sis not do people any wrong. You know what my mistake was...? .. I was running after a mirage and when reality struck me,  I fell hard.

People learn from their mistakes and I seem to be making mistakes after another. Can you imagine what confidence would be left in me after all those mistakes? Can you imagine that on a bad day, how I would face myself?

The worst thing in this world is to let yourself down. One can lie to people that their life is fine but they cannot life to themselves.

Yes, my life is so far away from what I wanted it to be. I got all the things I wanted in my life but all those things are bad choices! Its taken me a while to come to terms with it and I know I faltered so many places... I let myself down.. I did not value myself.. but then I realized that I need to say NO!

I apologize to myself now and then for all the pain I've gone through, but I can't seem to forgive forgive myself.

I've stopped wanting anything now because of the fear that what I want may not be right for me.... Right now I want only one thing: to zip past the aftermath of my bad choices some true so that I can live the life I so deserve... and yes, I know for sure that I deserve a lot better and a lot good in this life.

I have aspirations and I will achieve them and I sincerely apologize to myself and promise I shall never let myself be in a life altering, bad situation ever again.

Its Friday!!!

Well, its not really Friday coz there is still one more day to go but the onset of thrusday just seems like a downhill drive..

 

I like to mix up things so that I get plently of time with my family, pampering my adorable nephew and niece, watching back to back episodes of Gossip Girl, meeting friends, going out for a movie/ dinner.

 

Last weekend was my first try of bringing Avu and Karan home. I mean just the kids.. It was superb with Avu giving her best smile and calling out to the woman in an ad in the newspaper as aunty (and buddhu's statue as uncle).

 

For this weekend, I have found a new restaurant that I need to review. I have never tried Bong cuisine though I am a big fan of their Jhal Muri and Puchkaas.. So for this week, Oh! Calcutta is what I fancy. Being a vegetarian, I'm not sure how much options I will get but I'm told that their Baigan Bhaja (read fried bhaigan) and luchi (read puri) are a must have.

 

Wait to hear from me again on how the place rates on my scale of ambience, food, service and value for money.

 

The place is not limited to Delhi and can be tried by food enthusiasts in Mumbai, Calcutta, Pune, Bangalore as well...

 

For Delhi the address is:

 

Oh! Calcutta

International Trade Tower,

E-Block, Ground Floor,

Nehru Place,

New Delhi - 110019.

Ph: 26464180

The Kanatal trip: Holyland, Haridwar

Post capturing the morning bliss and soaking in all the fresh air, I headed back to my tent.


Just a few hours left for us to start our return journey. The more time passed by, the more I was falling in love with the place. This generally does not happen to me as I am hard to please but the place had this uniqueness attached to it that it won me the moment I lay my eyes on it: a union of the calm, the enormous, the humble, the graceful.... like a cookie you had that was heated up to the right temperature for it to melt in your mouth.. ummm!


Anyway, home awaited me ... After a quick hot bath, we arrived at the dining area with our packed luggage. The stay seemed so short now and I was already thinking about coming back for a longer visit. Breakfast done and we sat outside with tea and coffee to say our last goodbye to the place.   


Thanking the people there for making our stay so good, we loaded our luggage in the car and started the descend. Next on our agenda was to stop over at Tehri Dam and from there to Haridwar. Since  we wanted to see the grand scale आरती that happens at हर की पौढ़ी, we left at 1130. Wel, we could have started earlier but our bat mobile just would not start and needed a kick to get warned up.

Our driver told us that general public is not allowed on the dam so we could do some boating at Tehri and after that he would drop us at the haridwar station. Just boating was not our idea for fun so we cancelled Tehri and decided to go straight to haridwar station. 

The drive was long and tiring. With the window on my side unwilling to wind up completely, the chill started to give me a headache. I decided to pull up a jacket and doze off, which proved to be a good decision as I had not slept much the day before.

We made one small stop at a construction site because of the view the place had.. simply breathtaking !!

Ya, We loved all the posing.. who wouldn't :)


Starting the journey again, I went back to sleep...

Haridwar:
The setup of tents was all for the preparation of Maha Kumbh.. Around 1330-1400 hrs we had reached Haridwar station. With finances settled, we proceeded to the station entry.. No we are not heading back home yet.. So much to see, how could be go now. Moreover, we had some 10 hours to utilize for which an amazing plan had already been chalked out.


Step 1: Check in the luggage in the cloak room. For frequent travelers who have checked out of their hotel, this is a boon. No worries about carrying all that luggage! It took us 5 mins to locate the cloak room, 2 to buy a lock for Sanghi and another 5 to get the luggage registred. That simple!... We were ready to spread our wings now.


Step 2: A quick snack for lunch, basically whatever good we could get. For now it was some cake...


Luggage taken care of, semi lunch done, we headed out of the station.. It felt like one of those college days, me and sanghi out on the streets with no specific agenda in mind, the first sign of being a true traveler.. वेल्ले लोग हम दोनों..


While travelling to any place, my idea of fun is to see it from the eye of a local.. As we walked towards the temple from the station, we crossed a spice market, then utensils and finally we were able to spot what our hippie eyes were looking for.. JUNK JEWELERY! We started to load ourselves with bangles, malas, ankelets.. whatever our eyes fancied. The weirdest of my shopping there had to be some speciality papads which goes to show that food is my first and foremost weakness.


I was trying to look for something that spoke of the place but could not find anything... so junk jewellery it was.

With the time of the aarti gaining on us, we headed towards the banks of ganges and saw this man making exquisite offering made out of flowers.

Haridwar is a chaotic place otherwise. We found ourselves a place to see the aarti and it took longer than expected to start. A fact about the daily prayer that happnes there is that the diya's for the aarti are lit at the same time. It was a sight in itself.

Finally we saw what we came for!

Hungry as hell, we asked the locals around for a place to have a decent meal. Two suggestions came up: Hoshiyaar Puri and Big Ben!

errrr, Big Ben?! Anyway, we moved on asking more shop keepers and hoshiyaar Puri seemed to be a popular choice. On a funny note, the name of restaurant was just not registering in my mind and I asked this local girl where Rajnikant hotel was... telling her people have suggested us to eat there. The exprssion on her face were note worthy! I laughed and told her the name was a bit odd so we dont remember. She gave a smile and told us its Hoshiyaari puri and gave is directions.

Following the path, we reached the place finally and it found it to be a hit among the locals as well as tourists. We ordered an array of things coz we had not eaten since morning and hogged and hogged!

Done with dinner we stepped out and saw we still had 3 hours to spare. Without having any meetha, I was looking around for a place to get something good: jalebis and ladoos maybe. This time we asked the shopkeepers for a nice place to have mithai. Prachin Mathura Wale was enormously suggested so we started the walk.

The place served some amazing besan laddoos. We had a few of them and moved towards the station.

Though the wait at the station was long, it was quite eventful with a bunch of monkeys scaring us (no fault of theirs as they were just just sitting silently next to us having biscuits), our quest to find a clean loo, an opiniated man in his late 50's spreading gyaan to a couple and the unbearable waiting room.

To sum up, the trip was a success and would act as a building block to many more to come.

All things pretty

A recent trip to Dilli Haat presented an opportunity to carry my trusty canon to capture the mood of everyday life that was hard to resist!

Junk jewelery calling out to women of various age groups, loads of clay work, endless variety of indigenous clothes and chappals and not the forget the main attraction: the horticulture show.

Beauty in Monochrome

Ranthambore Tiger Reserve

Innocence Around

Here I was returning home from a hectic 5 day routine and planning my 2 days of freedom. As I stopped at a longer than usual red light near my home, I could not resist taking out my camera to click some random shots.

One click here, another there, its then I noticed that a lil boy selling Ganesha statues,smiling back at me. Oh yes! The kid had stopped to pose for the camera and was giving a hearty smile.

I tried my best to get a decent shot of him from behind the windshield and clicked one of him. Seeing his friend being photographed, his buddy came and joined in. It was sweet and enjoyable 2 min stop for all of us.

Just before the kids started to walk off, I called them and showed them their picture. The kids were all smiles and chuckles as they walked off.

Fun with Photography

While taking a break from work, I decided to pick up my camera and go out to the garden to click some pictures.

After the rains, afternoons have once again become a pleasant time to step out and the crisp sun made it a joy for me to click some beautiful plants in my garden and enjoy the warmth at the same time.

Here are some pictures I clicked:

WannaBe All American Diner

Having heard about the all American diner at India Habit Center for so long, I decided to check out the place and review it for myself.

Amidst the pruned landspace of India Habitat Center- the place has an impressive address for starters.

My hunger struck greedy eyes looked around the place...

To start with the place, it is tucked in a tiny area and felt claustrophobic, though the interiors were bright and peppy, synonymous to any diner: Neon lights.. pink in this case, myraid posters on the wall, jukebox, booth seating and the typical tissue dispensers.

I liked the way the various breakfast cereal were displayed on the counters for buffet and made me hungry instantaneously.

As we moved towards our seats, I was dissapointed to see the crammed seating space for two. It seemed like one booth was cut through the center to make space.

Soon however, I was distracted by the menu which seemed promising.. A good amount of options for us vegetarians, with the regular pancakes, waffles, hash browns, eggs to order and what not.

I had heard a lot about their pancakes and waffles so ordered the same and some hash browns on the side. Hearing the conversations of  people around, I definitely saw it as mecca for them wannabe's -  posing as intellectuals as soon as they stepped in.

5-10 mins and my pancakes finally arrived with the hash browns and there is when the array of dissapointment started...

1. Hashbrowns served to me did not look like hashbrowns!!! Dunno what I was served.
2. Pouring the syrup over the pancakes, as soon as I dug into my first bite, I realised the taste was all screwed up.
3. The texture of the pancake was too sticky and believe me I have had good pancakes that melt in one's mouth.
4. The meal portions were so tiny that it seemed like a joke.

This experience stopped me from ordering more. I wonder when these world cuisine eateries will stop being stingy in their meal sizes as they definitely aren't stingy when it comes to presenting the bill.

I give the place a thumbs down and the following rating:

Food: 2/5
Ambience: 2.5/5
Service: 2/5
Value for money: 1.5/5

I'm now on a lookout for a place to have an amazing breakfast and the menu has changed from american to our very own piping hot spicy South India... Yummm

The state of being: NOW

After watching movies back to back over a couple of days, I shifted my liking to a much subtler option .. Music.


Off late I've started fancying the sounds of Electronica and lounge music, after all it is quite soothing and irons out any signs of stress from a hectic day! So, with a chrisper version of me at the keyboard, I start to write about all that is around me.


The music's positive yet mysterious vibe, the sounds of the accordion binding you to itself as the music progresses. I wonder what story is it trying to portray.. Yeah! I got it.. like a bumble bee in the busy streets, lost and trying to find his way back home... hmm, It doesn't make much sense does it, but neither do most incidents around us or the discussions that we have with other people.


when I think about how my life has progressed in the last week, my accidental injury which has left me almost immobile (temporarily) and the survival instinct for me to continue: I realise that bigger and new incidences always overshadow the chronic, lingering ones. Another conclusion that doesn't seem to make any sense. 


But, Life is anything but a survival instinct. The way we join the dots of this puzzle, thats how our life turns out to be. And sometimes, though NOW does not make sense, embracing our surroundings brings about a newer, BIGGER, maybe better tomorrow... just like the bumble bee hitting a bit garden in the spring season.


I guess all I have to say is that enjoy the eccentricities of today no matter how unconventional they may be as you wont get this moment ever again.

The Kanatal trip: Rise and Shine!

So I'm not used sleeping at 9 p.m. and as a result I tossed and turned in my bed all night long! It was difficult staying all covered along with the tossing so I was even more restless. The saving grace for me was that lights were not turned off. I get scared easily so I needed that comfort.

I woke up hours later and for a split second could not recollect where I was. Scared to death, I looked around and saw the luggage on the floor and also Sanghi cosily tucked in. Phew! I am still alive, I thought to myself and with a sigh of relief looked at my watch.. 11 p.m. only? Apparently, You recoup as fast as you get exhausted in the hills. I really did not feel tired or sleepy or anything but I thought to myself I have to sleep. So, I went back to bed to get up just before sunrise.

I'm glad my body clock was one with nature because the time I woke up and stepped outside, I could see the sun coming up.. Well, not the sun but hints of red, orange, yellow in the sky. I ran back in to get the camera...

Our tents were west facing and behind our tents, towards the east were huge huge pine trees. It looked like a view from a painting when the light from the sun was peeking through the thick and thin branches.The Sun seemed to be shy in coming out. Here are some pictures that I captured of what surrounded us..

The Kanatal trip: Camp activities, food and more

Trek to the Surkanda Devi: we were pumped with all the energy that was possible and had started to chalk out our plan for the day and the day to come. 


The descend from the temple via the paved path seemed like child's play and when I saw people climbing on horses, I smiled at myself with what I had just achieved. After all we trekked 3.5 km through the forest on an unpaved path.


A unique thing I saw over there was an ornament worn by married women. A larger than life nose ring that could be well taken as a bangle for someone with a really fat wrist. Quite a fashion statement in itself.


With the regular chit chat and deciding to do the camp activities, we walked down. The driver with his Ambi was waiting at the base of the climb. As we sat into the car and headed back to our cosy lil camp, I could feel my appetite rising. Famished with the climb, the moment we reached camp, we told the camp in charge that we'll be having our lunch followed by all camp activities. For city girls, Sanghi and I definitely have a good stamina. 


The lunch prepared by these guys was superb: Paneer, Aalo fry, rajma, roti, rice and payasam. And after giving closure to our taste buds and asking Vijay, the camp in charge to save some of the leftover Payasam for dinner, we retreated to our camp to rest and soak our hands and feet yet again.Half  hour of rest to recoup we headed to our next plan of action: Rock Climbing and Rappelling.  


Crossing the pine trees standing behind the tents, we entered into a new world where I saw a new view of the mountains.. I looked up at the trees from where I stood and saw the tangled branches going up in a spiral as if a stairway to the sky above. 

Our tiny existence in this big universe and we feel we've seen it all!

As we crossed the hill and the कच्चा रास्ता, we came to a road where people would go around doing mountain biking: obscure and hidden from the world! We asked about the deserted farm land and houses in the distance and were told that locals own 3 pieces of farms in different locations and they move with the weather to sow/ plant seeds for the seasonal harvest. A tough life of a city person to relate to but sure it must be an experience in itself.

Walking a 100 mts., we finally stopped where the safety equipment was brought out: ropes, harnesses, clamps, head gear, gloves. Looking at the top of the rock like structure, I saw one of guide tying the rope around the tree and throwing it down. A careful inspection of all the prepping done by the instructor, he began with the demo of what was expected out of us. 

Climb the 45 feet tall rock, look for nucks and coners for support, always have your weight on three of the fours (legs and arms) when taking the weight of one of them and voila, you reach the top..

Excuse me?! Am I supposed to do that? I mean I have zero upper body strength.

Thankfully, the strong willed woman that I am, I decided to conquer my fear. Sanghi's fear was rapelling, which is understandable because  of her healing ankle from a ligament injury.

So we started to climb this huge rock one at a time. My turn to climb and I could not stop telling myself that I better not make a fool out of myself. I had some major expectations to fulfill, after all I am my biggest critic! 

So, it took me a while to overcome difficult bends but all in all, I really enjoyed the climb. I did not fall and was not pulled up! The one major problem that I had all the while was that my safety gear hat as loose. I had to stop every time to adjust it because it was coming all over my face and was making me eat a lotta dust. Disgusting I know ...

Descending is an easier task which I agreed with. I have done  rapelling a couple of times and standing perpendicular to the rock gives an exhilarating felling. Its scary at first but a lot of fun!

I wanted to do rappelling again and Sanghi rock climbing :)

Another task conquered, we started our trek back to the camp. Walking 600 mts. back to the camp seemed like a challenge now. We sat at the corner of the road for a lil while before we headed back.

Next activity: Burma bridge.. A lighter activity which did not require much strength but a basic balancing, it definitely tested ones concentration.

All done, we went back to our camp and rested. After an hour or two, we headed out for the bon fire. ठण्ड ही ठण्ड, awesome weather for a bon fire!! We sat there for a good hour or two chatting about  work, life, people... We were brought some snacks in a lil while: Fryams, french fries and mixed pakoras.. yum! Since we weren't much hungry, we had a some of it and just sat there and enjoyed the warmth in the chill.

After that was dinner: Some more heavenly food and a perfect end to our day! I think all we did on this trip was eating, eating and more eating.. The amazing thing was that we were done with dinner and retired to our tent at 9. WOW! Did we really achieve so many things in this lil time?

The tent was far form warm. It seemed like I was sitting on an ice cube. We packed ourselves with layers of sweater, thermals, jackets, caps praying that we don't fall prey to the extreme weather.

Good Night, talk to you at sunrise :)

Paranormal Activity: Aftermath

I'd been super excited and looking forward to see Paranormal Activity. With all the news about it, I was waiting for it to be released.


I contemplated writing about the whole experience but honestly it gives me the creeps!


I ended up watching the movie with hands over my eyes peeking through the gaps between the fingers and towards the last 30 mins I just could not see  it... hearing it was all I could bear!!


Go for it only if you have the hearts to watch it through and manage its after effects!

Sneak Peak: Heaven on Earth

I don't remember being this desperate and waiting for my mail ever :) So here is a sneak peak at how the morning looked to me. so near yet so far away... 


I need to get me a permanent place to live in these hills, that's for sure!!

The Kanatal trip: Trek to Surkanda Devi

Waiting for hot water to kick start our day, we looked around the tent and realized that it was equipped with an attached changing room and a loo. That definitely is a luxury as the earlier camps I have stayed at had common dry pits for loos and when it came to taking a shower, we were told to feel free and take a dip in the river flowing past the banks.. Rustic if I may say!

The place had all basic amenities to map to our modern ways of living: electricity, charging point for the cell phone, network coverage. Now I know one would think why all these things would be required when taking a break from the monotony set in, but in many a cases, the comfort factor for us city slickers comes with some connectivity to the things we seldom hate. Irony of our life!


... Post the soaking of feet in the hot water we'd asked for a while back and getting ready, a call for breakfast was made and we head out to our first meal: aaloo paratha, toasted bread and omelet accompanied with some hot tea/ coffee. Thank you god!!


For those who have not stayed in this current craze, i.e. camping with extras, I must tell you that their food is far beyond delicious... I wonder what their secret ingredient is; other than fresh 'n local grown seasonal veggies and generous dollops of Chunky Chat Masala. When staying at a camp, I suggest everyone to leave their diets behind and indulge in all the good things available.


A generous serving of whatever fancied us, we sat on the chairs laid outside. Good food and warmth from the sun, we were prepping ourselves for a 3.5 km trek on an unlaid path through the forest to the Surkanda Devi Temple (सुरकंडा  देवी मंदिर ).


The trek started from a point 2 km from the camp and as we got off from the cab for the trek, I was taken aback with what I saw: Snow covered peaks: The Himalayan Range. The view was crystal clear like I could touch the mountains from where I was standing! I felt ecstatic... so lucky to be able to see what was standing in front of me. Amongst the various peaks, I recall seeing Nanda Devi and Trishul. I must confess that I went over board clicking pictures of the Himalayas, I just could not get enough of them.

After numerous poses and angles for capturing a perfect image, we finally stepped forward and started the climb. 


I love trekking and when you are surrounded by such an astounding sight, you cannot help yourself from stopping every other second to click a new view never seen before.   


The initial few steps and minutes seemed easy but as we climbed further and further I could see the mountains challenging us! Uprooted trees that lay on the path of the trek up  added to the thrill/ danger. Ferns, moss, fallen pines, ice laden rocks: one has to be careful with the climb.  


With numerous stops and resting breaks I ensured capturing every imaginable shot of the surroundings and us. Who wouldn't love posing against this pretty a backdrop so we ended up clicking duplicate pictures in the same angle: one each with Sanghi and me. Yeah, unnecessary detail but I'm sure all of us do this all the time :)

I could go on the same trek for years and years and not get bored as these numerous curves and bends would offer me something new to explore each time. I stood at one such curve leading me to a newer height and felt the silent, calm in and around me. 


With my body warmed up with climbing, extra/ precautionary layers of clothing like caps/ mufflers came off. Carrying a water bottle each was a good idea as a steep climb like this at such a high altitude made me thirsty. Carrying  electoral/ glucon-D / Gatorade could also be another option to ensure that the mineral levels are maintained in the body.  


Sipping water at every bend and stopping to click more and more pictures, we finally reached the top of the trail. 9000 feet with almost a 270 degree view, WOW!


There sat our destiny, the temple for which we trekked 3.5 km in 1 hour: Slow! I know, but when you end up stopping so often, time seems to be stand still. I must commend on the patience of the person who took us on the trek as the walk actually would have been for 30 min had we just kept to the course. 


In our final steps towards the temple, monkeys distracted my thought process. I just realized that in all these treacherous treks leading to a godly place, you will always have monkeys around. The peaceful beings allowing us to move further without any hindrance, Surkanda Devi temple we reach.


My first sight, I saw a monk/ साधू of sorts sitting outside the temple. Next, the sharp colors painted on the boundary wall just brightened my day! 

Our guide told us that the temple is considered a very holy place by the locals. Deciding whether to go in or not, we took of our shoes and went inside. Just after the gate stood a frame with 5-6 bells hanging from it. A marvelous sight in itself! The temple was closed at the time we reached, 1300 hrs, so we looked around a bit and came out. 


The trek was more of a fun activity for me than the destination. None the less, the destination offered us an altogether new view of the what really surrounded us. Below is a view of the Himalayas with colored flags in the fore ground. 

For anyone visiting this place, I suggest taking this trek though it is longer than the 1 km paved path leading up to the temple. The view is unparalleled and worth every stop due to breathlessness one may feel.

The Kanatal trip: WOW factor

We've reached Kanatal!! 0800 hrs and we stopped in front of Kanatal resort and spa to ask for directions to the camp. 

The driver had stopped the car in front of this board that read Maggi Point. Being awake for 4 hours, you can very well imagine how hungry Sanghi and I were and to top that a board that read Maggi Point …just added coal to the fire! Sanghi said she’d be in heaven if she could have maggi and I simply smiled and concurred. 

“आधा km आगे है  camp site”, a local replied to our question of the whereabouts of our stay for the night. Finally! A sigh of relief and a big smile on our faces, we proceeded forward. 

Camp Carnival: Thangdar, our final destination. Crisp white tents set up in the east with humongous pine trees in the backdrop, mist in the air, frost, semi melted snow all around. Oh My God! Is this for real!!

This reminded me of the time I landed in Miami and was teased over my awe struck reaction (which I till date do not agree with)… well, Kanatal seems like a place of the Gods with immense beauty that Miami stands no where near to compete with it! Kanatal is when I was really awe struck.

Picturesque surrounding being our home for the next two days I felt like Goldilocks stepping into the 3 bears house to find “Everything just right!”. A man finally stepped out of one of the tents and we told him about our reservation/ handed him the booking voucher. Lil confusion for a minute or two since he was not informed about our arrival but it was cleared before we knew it. That however did not stop him from showing us to our tents and asking if we’d have tea/ coffee. Surrounded by a bunch of very nice people who gave us hot/ cold water whenever needed since the water pipes were frozen, I felt like a queen. 

One thing your realize in murky yet lively place like this is that the simple things in life like a hot water for a bath, steaming tea, scrumptious food bring you more joy than imaginable. 

Settling into our tents we promptly asked for some hot water and soaked our hands and feet into them to bring them back to life. Below zero degree outside with only a few layer of thermals/ tent to shield us, what more can one expect. For a split second a feeling crept in that the decision to visit the mountains in freezing cold may have been an insane one but it all changed with the course of our trip. Afterall,

The real thrill is to go to such a place in winters when you can really enjoy the music!!